Improve relationships by reducing office gossip

Gossip columnist and broadcast journalist, Walter Winchell, once said, "Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid." This month we look at the impact of gossip on the work place and its consequences on career development. And how by replacing it with more effective, positive communication, we can boost morale and improve our relationships on all levels.
  – Robert

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Office Gossip: A Career Killer
By Mike Mitchell

Office gossip is prevalent in every workplace today. Is a little innocent chit-chat a real cause for concern? It was a big concern, according to a 2007 ABC News report, for four New Hampshire employees fired for gossiping.

CCManager, a Kelly Services website with resources for call center managers, published an article called “More Harm than Good from Gossip” which reported that “A 1994 large national survey by the American Society for Training and Development found that 64% of people said they gossip at work sometimes.” More than one in five admitted to being a “frequent participant” in workplace gossip. And there is no real reason for thinking that there has been any change over the years…

Gossip can be devastating for both the person who gossips and the person who is the object of the gossip. While trading juicy tid-bits of information and covert rumors around the lunch table or water cooler can be fun and give a sense of intimacy with co-workers, the consequences could be severe. It can ruin reputations and kill careers.

What is the appeal of this nonproductive form of information exchange? Whether the personal information about another person is real or perceived, swapping gossip gives the speaker and the listener a sense of camaraderie in shared secrets. Spreading malicious rumors or telling something private give a sense of superiority. The fact that the gossiper knows, or thinks he knows something no one else knows, creates a feeling of power over another person or situation.

The career killing danger of gossip affects the teller, the hearer, and the object of the gossip. The old saying “you can’t un-ring a bell” fully applies here. Once the damage is done, in most cases, it can’t be undone. Gossip destroys employee morale as well as personal integrity and trust.

Eventually, the gossiper gains a reputation as some one not to be trusted. This reputation results in the person not being trusted with confidential company projects, sensitive information, and restricted data, effectively killing the career path.

By rejecting gossip and refusing to listen to gossip mongers, you, and your career, will benefit in many ways including:

• You preserve your integrity for all to see.
• You reduce negative communication and wasted time in your organization.
• Your superiors will view you as a person who can be trusted with important assignments.
• Your peers will respect you as a reliable, and ethical source of information.
• Your staff will feel confident knowing what they say to you in private will stay private.

Everyone wants to be part of a group. My experience is that people who are passionately pursuing their own personal goals have no time to waste gossiping about the problems and shortcomings of co-workers.

- Mike

Dear Mike: Since I've been promoted to supervisor I feel sort of left out. I'm no longer working with my old team members and none of the other supervisors and managers talks to me very much. I'm always the last to know about equipment changes, software upgrades, and new products.

Mike's Answer: It's always difficult going from a team environment to a supervisory position. There is usually a transition time which varies in duration depending on the organization, co-workers, and the new supervisor.

Unfortunately, pulling away from the comfort of your old friends can be painful. Going into a situation where you are the new kid on the block is no fun either. It's really up to you to turn the situation around. Here are a few suggestions:

• If your career goal is to move up the corporate ladder, limit your contact with former teammates. It may be uncomfortable at first, but eventually you could be in a better position to help them when they really need it.
• Begin a steady process of creating a network of support people. Be slightly assertive in getting to know your new peers. For example, have an occasional lunch with them. Relationships start with communication, so build rapport as quickly as you can by listening, observing, and learning. It will be awkward at first, but it gets easier.
• Develop a confident (not arrogant) attitude. You must be completely convinced that you were promoted because of your knowledge, skills, and abilities. If you believe that you belong in your new position, then you must act like it.

Whether it's right or wrong, you are judged by the company you keep. Do your best to keep company with your new peers. By using positive communication skills, you can become a trusted member of the supervisory team and get the same information as everyone else at the same time.

- Mike

Have a question for Mike? Email him at mike@telexcellence.com.

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